Saturday, June 7, 2008

Relationships r forever



Why are relationships so complicated?

When was the last time u fought with your girl/boy friend, or your close friend, your best friend, your spouse, or brother/sister, you mom or dad, be it anyone there is some different kind of expectations that we keep with different relations.
The more we expect the more we are hurt, we always tend to think the fault is on the other side which is actually not coz the opposite party also thinks the same about us.
Unknowingly we hurt a lot of people who truly love, but in the process of loving too much we happen to hurt indirectly, taking a simple example of a boy and girl(imagination of relation at the reader’s discretion) wherein the guy expects the girl to be all dedicated to him, by the word dedicated I mean she should spend her time completely on him be it on mobile phone, be it in a direct meet, or on chat, if the girl has free time or rather just time it got to be for the guy, nothing wrong in this because there is this mentality of a kid who thinks his mom should like only him but not his sis, this usually happens in a new relationship.
But the flip side is that the guy tends to become over possessive and the girl starts feeling the pinch, she loves the guy and she has no doubts about it but the way she feels in the relationship is a trapped kind of feeling, this is not healthy!

What actually goes wrong in this relation is expectations and the power of controlling someone’s life, you may feel great in making someone obey your orders, make someone live a life that you like, but this is absolute cruelty.

Misunderstandings and fights crop up at this stage, so what is the solution??
When there are fights in a relationship this generation youngsters misunderstand it as that the relation is not working, so it has to be called off, the fact is that they fail to realize these simple things that has a huge impact on relationships.
- Stop controlling your partner with rules and limits
- Do not control your partner’s freedom by restrictions
- A little possessiveness is good, but over possessiveness causes damage
If love truly exists between you, you need not guard it by your rules

Fights does not mean things are not working out, it means you are just knowing much more about the other person, a sweet smile, or a simple talk can solve this and the moment of reconciliation is the best moments in relationships. The more you fight the better you understand a person.
Learn about the likes and dislikes and make sure you do not do stuff that your partner hates, it is like you hate cats and your partner knows the fact but still gifts you one, is’nt that irritating? It’s the same way someone feels when you do things the other person hates.
A relationship is about adjusting with the goods and bads of the other person, when you truly love someone behave the way that makes the other one happy and this does not mean you got to change yourself.
It just means you don’t do things that the other dislikes. Happiness lies in making someone happy and if you truly wanna be happy make someone smile today, surely it would multiply and come back to you.
So next time you fight you know what to do, right? Learn to forgive and you’ll be the happiest creature on earth.
Life is so beautiful therefore ‘live and let live’

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

what you said is right .Normally the relationships fail becuse they are developed because of either peer pressure or physical needs , it is infatuation, not love.People indulge in a relationship in a hurry and later realise that they was a wrong choice .Just wanted to add one more suggestion that please take some time to understand the person and yourself well.

nishaa said...

hi vibha..sensible and sensitive article again..your insights always amaze me..yes,i agree with you completely that relationships should not be about "control" but "trust"..
as always looking forward to reading more from you!

Anonymous said...

Love blossoms where differences are respected and people are allowed to be themselves, rather than something that someone else wants or needs them to be!

In a nutshell, this is what you wanted to say I believe!
Anyways, very well done Vibha.
I just recollected the facts again.
Good Job! Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

"Why are relationships so complicated?"

I guess they are just meant to be like that. It's tough to keep something going, but what comes out, more often than not, is something beautiful