Thursday, April 26, 2012

Made to order or made for each other?

When we were in college we would be sitting at the café coffe day discussing on all idiotic things of life be it guys, marriage, love and blah blah… we would have a list of things the guy of our choice should have starting from no smoking, no flirting, earn a 7 figure salary, modern, respectable, handsome, caring, loving, helpful, would die for us, talented, software engineer, should like shopping, should have a car…. Phew! let me stop typing the list or some guy who would read this would have got his blood pressure up by now. So that was the kind of aggregated list generally girls would have when they discuss about the ideal guy.
Well the other side of the river is no less green, I mean the list a group of guys would talk would be similar but different in terms of few aspects like say beauty, patience, maintain herself always, independent on all her work (includes shopping), looks after his parents well, not demanding, no nagging, no questions, gel well with everyone, loving, taking care (like nearest comparable - mother), wear a smile no matter what, never argue… ok this stop is for the girls whom I respect reading till here let me save their patience to read further. Ok, so what are we talking here are we deciding in buying a latest television set in the market? Then why do we have a list of features to look out for? I can’t say this is human nature coz our grandparents generation never had this list, atleast not this long to expect of a life partner, well we should accept the fact that they are happy today.
Actually speaking that generation were the greatest risk takers they all had the guts to go for a blind marriage (like our blind dates), and to the surprises of surprises they would survive the marriage till death do them apart.
So what do we have to learn from them? It does not matter whom you marry known or unknown person, it is about what you make out of the person you get in life. Its all about forgiving, teaching, learning, accepting, honesty, trust, understanding and more. But believe me its very very difficult to actually do all those things that I just wrote, if I give you an example it would be that of an overweight person who tries so hard to loose weight but just cant get the results and finally gives up. If I were to argue on the contrary on why it would not work it is because the generation we live in our thinking, our independence, financial security we have, empowerment... all this makes us stronger and makes us think why should we compromise our lives for even few years of adjusting just because once we are old we will maybe still like each other like our grandparents. Why take chances? Why waste our precious time of our life to adjust or compromise?
The modern thinking is a move on attitude which long back used to be the western world thinking, its now all over the world india is no more traditional or stuck to joint families nor a single wife/husband concept for life.
Should we feel proud that we have developed in our thinking and living and call ourselves modern or are we missing out on the values, family concept, importance of relationships that we used to have years back?
what is right? who are we to answer...but all I know is the whole world changes, and this is one such change maybe.. because if we still keep thinking the life when kings and queens ruled life was perfect, then the world never have moved to our government ruled countries. There is nothing like a perfect world, nothing like perfection, everything has to change… so stop making a feature list for living with a person, just live! Because there is no perfect husband/perfect wife.

3 comments:

karthik said...

My god.. U r just awesome , I must say...wt writing man !!! Hats off.

UR blog just took few yrs bk and made me think what we spoke and its so true

vibha reddy said...

thanks karthik

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