Love- Its complicated!

The concept of love is such a complicated thing… how did our parents manage to get through this complication over so many years?

We see someone, we are attracted, we speak and we understand. This is the person we want to live a life with forever and ever happily…

HAPPILY??? Now that’s a big question mark.

Do love stories ever get solved? Is break-up the only solution if its not working out? To get to the topic of not working out in love what actually goes wrong?

It’s all lovely in the initial stages of love, angels dance in day dreams, you start hearing to your heart beats, every beautiful thing makes you smile, and you feel lighter than a bird. These being very common symptoms you go through this beautiful thing called love, and there comes a next stage of compatibility and understanding.

What happens here? Slowly you start noticing every activity of your partner- what he/she does? Who are his/her friends? And every possible thing about you partner.

There are some things that make you uncomfortable about your partner and same is your partner’s case.

Now, come on! Is there something called made for you- personalised piece in this world? How can you even dream about such a thing, you have not ordered a personalized laptop for goodness sakes!

You have just found yourself another soul like you with a different mind, different thinking, different habits, and different views about life…. In two words a different personality.

Basic facts about relationship for which you do not need to read this novel “men are from mars, women are from Venus” (I didn’t read either)

Your partner remembering your birthday, Valentine’s Day, wedding anniversary and etc days is not compulsory. If he/she is out of station calling you or even informing that he/she is alive is not mandatory Your partner is not on any obligation to know if you had food, slept well, looking good in your new dress, new hairstyle… and a lot of such little cute things.

You need to think twice while speaking to people around you, But be very broadminded if it comes to your partner, let him/her have his own way of prioritizing people.

Make sure you have your own hobby options active like reading novels, watching movies, painting etc. because you need them when u do not have the attention or company you expect from your partner.

I can go on, but considering your patience levels to read the same I am stopping at this. So this is what you need to be trained with to have a perfect relationship going on with zero fights. (ok please do not attempt to find my address or number to get to warn me about stopping such torturous facts to be published in this blog)

Alrite! Alrite! Alrite! Alrite! Now to the actual facts, I am as confused as you are as a reader about “ what is the perfect recipe for love?” well, there is none.

Everyone needs to find their own success recipes in their own way. Please do not purchase stuff like “how to fall in love” “how to sustain in love” how to understand your spouse”.

Coz what’s in a book is a person’s view; it’s his/her point of getting solutions in a relationship. What is your story? What is your expectation? And what is your partner’s? Understand, talk, love, feel, tell …. And then find a solution yourself.

If I can teach you how to love, will this mean I know your partner better?

Love exists, it does. Believe it, feel it. If you still don’t, remember that there is a lifetime to know you and your love, but not believing it can erase everything at this single moment.

Now you are forced to read a little note which i might call a poem.. (love:what all it makes you do!)

Does this happen to love?

Once upon a time a prince rode on the flying horse

Who came from high above the skies

To seek my hand into life

My eyes closed, I stepped ahead of my heart.

Took a vow for the love of my life
My eyes had a billion dreams inside

I dreamt they would unfold in every moment as I step

I am still thinking my hand is in yours

As I am with you leaving my world behind me

I trusted your hand more than my life

I believed in you more than my heart

And If I had to wake up one fine morning

To find all this was a dream,

I would want To sleep forever…

Vibha

(Did i hear an applause? or did you click on something to block my blog?)

live, let live

Have you tried to examine your parent's life, I am talking about those typical orthodox family’s story, it is common that most of the women in these families are house wives, they are dependents - financially, emotionally, security wise. Nothing wrong in this dependency, but do all our mothers really love being a house wife and dependant on their husband, and I am sure 99 out 100 would answer yes since they are trained with these readymade answers.
To an Indian woman ‘life’ is- her home, her husband and her children nothing beyond a caretaker’s job. And we do hear to the opinions such as 'it is a great pleasure being a house wife looking after everyone' and blah blah this is obvious coz she has seen nothing beyond this and she has lived a life of a sheep which follows its friends.
Specially in a typical orthodox family every wife is living her husband’s idea of life, its not actually her dreamed life.. your would be does not want you to work you say yes, he wants you to be a house wife, he does not permit you to wear the dresses you dreamed to live with, you need permissions and authorizations to go out, you must give explanations on every phone cal u make or receive, you got to stop all the internet activities.. I mean this is so called typical Indian bahu, exceeding anything of the above you will be labeled arrogant, attitude etc.. oh come on give me a break will the male accept the same rules formulated for a woman, physically weak does not mean we are automated robots. We have a life of our own like every living being on earth so treat us that way.
I don’t know if this article can change the present husbands, but this is just a hope that the going to be husbands give a thought over this matter.
Next time you decide your would be’s life is to be designed by you, remember you are not marrying a girl you are marrying a robot, of course a robot which brings a lot of drowry along.
Living a meaning full life is not in controlling others; it is in giving others a life that they want to live.

Relationships r forever

Why are relationships so complicated?

When was the last time u fought with your girl/boy friend, or your close friend, your best friend, your spouse, or brother/sister, you mom or dad, be it anyone there is some different kind of expectations that we keep with different relations.
The more we expect the more we are hurt, we always tend to think the fault is on the other side which is actually not coz the opposite party also thinks the same about us.
Unknowingly we hurt a lot of people who truly love, but in the process of loving too much we happen to hurt indirectly, taking a simple example of a boy and girl(imagination of relation at the reader’s discretion) wherein the guy expects the girl to be all dedicated to him, by the word dedicated I mean she should spend her time completely on him be it on mobile phone, be it in a direct meet, or on chat, if the girl has free time or rather just time it got to be for the guy, nothing wrong in this because there is this mentality of a kid who thinks his mom should like only him but not his sis, this usually happens in a new relationship.
But the flip side is that the guy tends to become over possessive and the girl starts feeling the pinch, she loves the guy and she has no doubts about it but the way she feels in the relationship is a trapped kind of feeling, this is not healthy!

What actually goes wrong in this relation is expectations and the power of controlling someone’s life, you may feel great in making someone obey your orders, make someone live a life that you like, but this is absolute cruelty.

Misunderstandings and fights crop up at this stage, so what is the solution??
When there are fights in a relationship this generation youngsters misunderstand it as that the relation is not working, so it has to be called off, the fact is that they fail to realize these simple things that has a huge impact on relationships.
- Stop controlling your partner with rules and limits
- Do not control your partner’s freedom by restrictions
- A little possessiveness is good, but over possessiveness causes damage
If love truly exists between you, you need not guard it by your rules

Fights does not mean things are not working out, it means you are just knowing much more about the other person, a sweet smile, or a simple talk can solve this and the moment of reconciliation is the best moments in relationships. The more you fight the better you understand a person.
Learn about the likes and dislikes and make sure you do not do stuff that your partner hates, it is like you hate cats and your partner knows the fact but still gifts you one, is’nt that irritating? It’s the same way someone feels when you do things the other person hates.
A relationship is about adjusting with the goods and bads of the other person, when you truly love someone behave the way that makes the other one happy and this does not mean you got to change yourself.
It just means you don’t do things that the other dislikes. Happiness lies in making someone happy and if you truly wanna be happy make someone smile today, surely it would multiply and come back to you.
So next time you fight you know what to do, right? Learn to forgive and you’ll be the happiest creature on earth.
Life is so beautiful therefore ‘live and let live’