live, let live

Have you tried to examine your parent's life, I am talking about those typical orthodox family’s story, it is common that most of the women in these families are house wives, they are dependents - financially, emotionally, security wise. Nothing wrong in this dependency, but do all our mothers really love being a house wife and dependant on their husband, and I am sure 99 out 100 would answer yes since they are trained with these readymade answers.
To an Indian woman ‘life’ is- her home, her husband and her children nothing beyond a caretaker’s job. And we do hear to the opinions such as 'it is a great pleasure being a house wife looking after everyone' and blah blah this is obvious coz she has seen nothing beyond this and she has lived a life of a sheep which follows its friends.
Specially in a typical orthodox family every wife is living her husband’s idea of life, its not actually her dreamed life.. your would be does not want you to work you say yes, he wants you to be a house wife, he does not permit you to wear the dresses you dreamed to live with, you need permissions and authorizations to go out, you must give explanations on every phone cal u make or receive, you got to stop all the internet activities.. I mean this is so called typical Indian bahu, exceeding anything of the above you will be labeled arrogant, attitude etc.. oh come on give me a break will the male accept the same rules formulated for a woman, physically weak does not mean we are automated robots. We have a life of our own like every living being on earth so treat us that way.
I don’t know if this article can change the present husbands, but this is just a hope that the going to be husbands give a thought over this matter.
Next time you decide your would be’s life is to be designed by you, remember you are not marrying a girl you are marrying a robot, of course a robot which brings a lot of drowry along.
Living a meaning full life is not in controlling others; it is in giving others a life that they want to live.

Relationships r forever

Why are relationships so complicated?

When was the last time u fought with your girl/boy friend, or your close friend, your best friend, your spouse, or brother/sister, you mom or dad, be it anyone there is some different kind of expectations that we keep with different relations.
The more we expect the more we are hurt, we always tend to think the fault is on the other side which is actually not coz the opposite party also thinks the same about us.
Unknowingly we hurt a lot of people who truly love, but in the process of loving too much we happen to hurt indirectly, taking a simple example of a boy and girl(imagination of relation at the reader’s discretion) wherein the guy expects the girl to be all dedicated to him, by the word dedicated I mean she should spend her time completely on him be it on mobile phone, be it in a direct meet, or on chat, if the girl has free time or rather just time it got to be for the guy, nothing wrong in this because there is this mentality of a kid who thinks his mom should like only him but not his sis, this usually happens in a new relationship.
But the flip side is that the guy tends to become over possessive and the girl starts feeling the pinch, she loves the guy and she has no doubts about it but the way she feels in the relationship is a trapped kind of feeling, this is not healthy!

What actually goes wrong in this relation is expectations and the power of controlling someone’s life, you may feel great in making someone obey your orders, make someone live a life that you like, but this is absolute cruelty.

Misunderstandings and fights crop up at this stage, so what is the solution??
When there are fights in a relationship this generation youngsters misunderstand it as that the relation is not working, so it has to be called off, the fact is that they fail to realize these simple things that has a huge impact on relationships.
- Stop controlling your partner with rules and limits
- Do not control your partner’s freedom by restrictions
- A little possessiveness is good, but over possessiveness causes damage
If love truly exists between you, you need not guard it by your rules

Fights does not mean things are not working out, it means you are just knowing much more about the other person, a sweet smile, or a simple talk can solve this and the moment of reconciliation is the best moments in relationships. The more you fight the better you understand a person.
Learn about the likes and dislikes and make sure you do not do stuff that your partner hates, it is like you hate cats and your partner knows the fact but still gifts you one, is’nt that irritating? It’s the same way someone feels when you do things the other person hates.
A relationship is about adjusting with the goods and bads of the other person, when you truly love someone behave the way that makes the other one happy and this does not mean you got to change yourself.
It just means you don’t do things that the other dislikes. Happiness lies in making someone happy and if you truly wanna be happy make someone smile today, surely it would multiply and come back to you.
So next time you fight you know what to do, right? Learn to forgive and you’ll be the happiest creature on earth.
Life is so beautiful therefore ‘live and let live’

MBA- Master in Bindaas Attitude

What has management education taught you?
This question had been ringing in my ears from quite a long time.. Especially because in one of our lecture classes, we answered like dumb people for a question on tools of promotion and our lecturer had commented “any layman can answer like you”. And this is absurd.. So, I am no better than a layman, how worst can it get to be?

And it came to my mind that my lecturer was so true, I am still the complete normal dumb person as I was 2 years back when I entered the post graduation, carrying with me 1000 expectations of acquiring a world of knowledge.
It was pretty obvious, wasn’t it? , because the word ‘MBA’ has created this hype that a master in business administration can create the 8th wonder of this world, specially if he/she is from a premium institution.
And now to ground reality, I still feel I am whom I was 2 years back without this huge investment, and a 2 year time.
And are people out there completely crazy like me that they badly need a pos graduation degree for nothing?
All these dreams of post graduation as a transformational tool in one’s life is all crap?
And is all the hunting for big corporate names and big bucks a fantasy?
Let’s give these queries a little thought, at least this is what my simple mind could think about,
A higher education degree does not:
- Make each one of us an Einstein
- Give us power to transform any organization into a cash cow
- Give us powers to conquer the corporate kingdom
Now then what does it do??? It does much more than the above
- It gives us the confidence to adapt
- It gives us the patience to listen and learn
- It makes us good thinkers
- It facilitates us to learn quickly
- It helps us boost our creativity
Doesn’t these sound so simple, but beware these are the most important things organizations look out for, and if the corporates out there trust an institution they trust the knowledge it imparts to its students.
As a famous saying goes, ‘In order to cut a tree spend 75% time sharpening your axe’
The sharpening role is what is done by these educational degrees and now that’s the difference between a layman and a post graduate.
(I hope my lecturer does not read this and think “This is crap man”)

live life your way, its urs!

Well I want to speak about
‘women’
in this article; since I am a female most of you must be expecting this is another female who would speak about equal rights or about male chauvinism. Well, that’s not the point here it’s a complete fact that women are weaker physically.
As the early men used to hunt wild animals not women and that is what has been followed even today, coz in most of the orthodox Indian families it makes so much sense that the head of the family(male) is the bread winner of the family. But tell me if men still hunt wild animals for food, absolutely no! (The truth is we are even scared to visit a jungle)
And the tradition still goes on to believe that women are not capable to handle business, not capable to understand the world better, (well some think women are bad drivers too!).
But the only constant is change, life changes- so does a women’s fate, now that she has broken the shell and has understood the meaning of freedom, the meaning of being independent, now she believes she can do much more than cooking. And all the struggle for women rights and equality has given some results, as much as to take the girl higher in the education ladder and also the corporate ladder. But people have a little idea what exactly happens here, we have freedom to work now but do not have the courage to say no if our boss calls us early to office or leaves later than office hours, we don’t dare to say shut up if someone is speaking rubbish, we don’t dare to slap the person who speaks the vulgar language, why? Answer is simple-that we fear what might happen if I did that.
If you as a women really want freedom it does not come in big revolutions, it does not come by forming societies or fighting for rights, freedom starts in your heart, try to live a life where you can proudly say I lived life on my terms, you need not struggle for another woman’s problem, ask your heart if you were never the prey of such men who think they can do anything for the simple reason that women don revolt back.
Education starts at home, and a revolution starts from your heart, when there is a woman behind every man’s success, there sure is a man behind every woman’s success, since we begin to grow when we fight back, or we stay where we are like how a typical Indian house wife is. And the fact is, its not men who have made a woman’s life miserable, its woman herself.
Never compromise on your education, career, or your life partner, what you need to do is in your hands it’s not in the rules. Your dad may be your guardian now, and later your husband but you are the guardian to your heart. No one can stop you being yourself and if you really can’t fight to live your own life there is just no meaning to your living.
When you fight a battle called life, don’t worry about the opponent’s army size at least give a try to fight it.” You die once if you loose the battle at least you don’t die everyday living a coward’s life.
“Live life queen-size”, after all you live only once.

love's labor lost

Arranged marriages have been an integral part of Indian society for centuries, and even today people having their marriages planned by their parents and other respected family-members, with the consent of the bride and groom, does occur. Arranged matches were made after taking into account factors such as the compatibility of the couples' horoscopes, the backgrounds of their families (wealth, social standing) and their castes. The institution of marriage in India is considered a very important one. Thus, parents felt that since they were older and wiser than their progeny, they would be able to find a suitable match for their children with more prudence than the latter. Although most marriages are arranged, some couples are opting for love marriage in urban areas. (Source: Wikipedia)

I guess the small introduction above gives a brief idea about what I am going to speak, these days the word arranged marriage sounds so old fashioned as the practice itself, the invasion of foreign brands, lifestyles, movies, fashion etc has this enormous impact in the way we live that we have forgot that there is something called our culture that existed centuries back but slowly perishing.
Once you have finished the above paragraph I know that you must be thinking I am just another philosopher who is a good preacher but a bad follower. I am not trying to prove that I do not use foreign brands, or do not see Hollywood movies or do not eat a burger at mc Donald’s, Off course 'I do'. The point is we are so busy following the culture which is not ours that we also don’t realize what are the pros and cons of opting a love marriage over arranged.

Well lets back to the actual story, lets picturise this “how do you decide to fall in love?”, I would say most of the times the girl/boy does not know anything about the other but still are attracted to each other which you may call it love at first sight, or teenage or whatever. Now these are strangers but still they get into a relationship called love not even knowing where it might lead them to, and we see “n” number of failures be it the guy cheated, or the girl found him boring, or that it’s a contractual dating. I am not trying to prove there are no failed marriages, sure there are. But atleast you need not have to leave your family, or break your parent's trust; when u fall in love the first time or get married in an arranged scenario its all the same, its only after the actual relationship comes into picture the compatibility is proved. So why cheat your parent’s trust?, why run away from home?, why hurt others feelings?. Don’t you think it is being pure selfish when you just think about your happiness.


You need care, you need love, you need guidance, you need financial assistance, you need social recognition and you need all these only till you get into this magic called love!, you’ll never realize how much you have hurt until your own kid runs away with some stranger.
I am not against love, but I am against lovers who think they are always right and don’t give a damn to their parent’s opinion whom they mistake to be those opposing parents in a certain love story of a movie. Before you leave your parents for the loved one, just think once again that,

“You are somebody because of those parents, and if you are a nobody you’d probably not have been chosen by your loved one”.

Life is so much worth living..

Have you ever imagined about death?
Well, I understand most of you would make faces thinking that “what a topic to discuss”, but death is such a serious issue that none of us give a thought about. Probably the loss of someone dear will leave us shattered and makes us realize is this all that life gives us at last.
What made me write this is when I lost someone dear in my family, it was the first ever time in my life that I saw someone lifeless in front of my eyes and I couldn’t do any damn thing to bring back life, what I understood by this is that some day each one of us would be lying somewhere lifeless and helpless.
I just thought what would it be for the last few minutes or hours before death, would u prefer knowing that you are going to die in few minutes or you think you must never know when you’ll leave your body?
As far as my opinion goes, I would prefer not knowing when I will die simply because the hell that breaks loose of knowing you’ll die shortly is the worst that anyone can experience, the feeling that “I want to live”, I want to see my loved ones” I want to achieve something”.. All these makes your head whirl and finally come out as tears and that is all that would be left to do.
So never try to go to that astrologer to ask him when you’d die, and by knowing which you’ll die every moment. If you are suffering from a serious illness never ask your doctor which is the date you’ll pass away.
“Never break the suspense or you’ll never enjoy the novel called life”

60 seconds of life!

It is 6 a.m., the alarm need not remind it, since the aging years has taught me to get up before the sun. Probably the first thing I saw everyday from ever since I know is my self in the mirror, the reflection concludes this is how I am, alive still not dead. It is 10.8.2068, well that completes 83 years of life on this earth which led to a small thought “what the hell did I achieve”, I felt I was sent on a mission with a time piece in hand and that seemed to be alarming its time up, like I was in a game show and its time to receive the prize money. But wait, I don’t win any prizes like many other losers on earth, who just witness many souls achieving. Probably I was one among the many spectators to encourage, applaud the achievers and be where I am until this day, my 83rd birthday.
A deep search of the collection of diaries hidden inside a heap of dust could not reveal a notable episode in life which can bring a wave of wrinkled smile on my face. Well, something did glitter from the past, my diary did not reveal this deep hidden secret but my heart did.
It was the secret of happiness from the days where I did not care about this world; I cared for my happiness, my life. And there was this person who cared about me and only me; this person belonged to the pages of the chapter in my life when life was in its best times. I never knew there was something called time that kept ticking every second. I adore the patience of time it never misses its count, but now at this moment I just wish it could miss a few counts.
I don’t know why I felt but my heart said to have a look at the time piece hung on the wall, I always did what my heart says and so I looked at the clock. And I now repent on my decision of looking at it since the seconds said that it would count few more times and stop, the idea shuddered me. it clearly communicated that these were the last few moments of my life.
Now this called the most serious game “life” , well what do I do for these few seconds which do not seem to stop at any cost, a thousand thoughts collected in my mind which didn’t seem to process due to overload of information. All that I did is pleaded the time to go back by few minutes so that I can recollect the most beautiful moments of my life, but nothing seemed to work and I understood “that’s it”, “its over”. It is at this particular moment of life I realized what is the value of one minute of life; well the value of one minute of life is death.
If at all I had one more minute to live just one more minute….......

Its not about money, honey

How many of you have dreams of seeing yourself as millionaires and billionaires one day?
I think i can guess the answer, its almost all of you.
I was just analysing how important is money, have we ever tried to draw a line saying 'this is enough', probably never!
but how much is too much?
Just spend a few minutes thinking what gives you the meaning to live, what is that you always thrived to achieve?
I'd say the most important things in life are peace of mind, happiness and self satisfaction only these simple things can put that smile always on your lips.
and now, how much money do we actually spend for these, let me analyse a few:
- A get together with your gang of friends, and the best way is to plan for a city outskirt dhaba. it is fun and freedom.
- A get away with your loved one, having a long conversation, watching a movie together, a long drive, or a small trip. (this is not expensive). these little things get you closer to your loved one, and when he/she is with you for what you are, it is going to be for a life time.
- Celebrating birthdays are the sweetest things to do. throw up surprises for friends, parents and loved ones, you can make someone the happiest. and that broad smile with a pinch of tear in their eyes is the best gift you get in return.
Gifts are the ways to show you care and i am not talking about the costly gifts, but those little cute gifts which can make someone happy. and believe me the best way to happiness is to make someone happy.
And if someone is not happy with your little gift, trust me he/she is not worth gifting. "he/she who judges your love with the price of your gift is the person who is expecting a return on investment of their artificial love".
The greatest sources of happiness reside in the simplest things.
a smile, a message, a mail, a greeting card, a birthday wish, a shoulder of support at the right time, timely help, a little understanding and respect.
These are the few simplest things to do to earn the greatest things in life.
These are the things that does not make you feel lonely even at the age of 99, ITS NOT ABOUT MONEY, HONEY.

Favourite travel destination

What comes to your mind when you think of a travel destination during a holiday?
I will analyze few attributes that can possibly come to your mind – comfort, independence, happiness, beauty, nature, adventure, freedom, and so on. Will all these be satisfied at the cost of your one year’s savings? Well, now that sounds depressing. If you consider your work’s stress and a year’s hard work and the wonderful thought of going out on a holiday, your hard work weighs more(in my opinion). And now the thought of going on a holiday will rest somewhere backside of your brain.
The point I am trying to make is the imagination and satisfaction of going on a holiday does not necessarily come from the bucks that are shed, if you can go back to your childhood and recall the most adventurous and exciting event with friends outside home, even now it will bring back the enthusiasm and excitement. So, the point is not where you go and how far you go but, with whom you go and with what mind you go.
It need not necessarily be a far away destination, out of the state or out of the country, it can be in your own city where there are many places unexplored and unseen. So bring back your childhood into your mind search for the numbers of your friends who still have the excitement alive in them and remember, your wife/husband can be your best friend too. Form a gang and set out for a trip to experience the new you, the child in you whom you had long forgotten, the adventure in you which is in deep sleep, the hunger for freedom and excitement, the beautiful side of you which you had bid adieu, the life in you which you had never seen.
The fast life, growing responsibilities, work-life balance, stress, work load and monotenous work life can all be changed to a night’s bad dream so that you wake up to live a life at least once in a month as you desired. And off course the fact remains that you have to go back to your night’s bad dream and the end of the adventure but you can still smile at work remembering how your buddy had pushed you into water when you were trying to catch a picture of a beautiful girl in your camera, or when you trekked to catch a beautiful picture of nature when the wind was running on your face, that was never visible at the office cubicle you were working.
Life can always be made beautiful by simple things like bringing a smile on someone’s face, looking at how beautiful the nature has been created, and this need not be attained by spending huge bucks but can be as simple as taking your local bus or train to a remote place where there is more of nature and less of people, it can even be a small hill at the outskirts of the city, an open space, running green fields, or a little pond, lake or anything you can sit to think about it and I am sure your imagination will fill a paper. Plan it up in innovative ways and explore the earth because a man was not born to belong to a single place, do not be a frog in the well be a bird free and independent but can still can come back to the land in search of food.
At the very thought of a holiday plan one would look out for the possibilities of going to far places like different parts of a country or different countries, but have you ever tried to know how much do you enjoy there after spending a lot of your savings, have you ever thought if you are going on a holiday to a fashionable place just to show your neighbors, friends and colleagues that you are well off.
And if this is the case then you have not defined in your mind the idea of a holiday, it is important to know that you go out to spend your precious time and money to be happy and feel the independence and freedom of traveling for a while at least but not to name a famous place that you have visited just to enhance your status, which does not bring any contention to your life and mind.
So, a favorite holiday destination is not in the world map or the amount of your savings, but in your mind which loves life.

About myself

My name is vibha as u guys must have already seen, right now i am a post graduate student enjoying the last few days of college life.
5 good things about me:
- i am sweet
- i am good at heart
- i can get comfortable with people easily
- i care for relationships, once committed is forever
- i am hard working, dedicated
5 bad things about me:
- i speak too much
- i am kiddish
- i trust people easily
- i do not take life seriously
- i depend on others quite a lot
NOTE: this is according to the survey conducted among my group members of my class

hello

This is a feeling I'd like to express for publishing posts for the first time in my life on a blog.
i feel like a kid who is pushed to the stage to perform her first dance show!
yeah kinda strange feeling that someone is going to read this scrap i am going to type in here, when i thought all the feelings i get in my mind can actually be put forth in here, i feel great.
i really hope i can make someone feel great someday when they read up something i write in here.
keep coming back!

lif'z beautiful

hello everyone,
welcome to my blog!